Amāre
by frozencinders
Summary: Joshua meets Hanekoma before playing the game. Contains suicide and mentions of abuse.
1. Nocebit

Joshua stood, shaking violently, gun almost slipping out of his hand. He knew it would be better to just get it over with, then he could play the Game and become a reaper. He could start over and live a life similar to the one he had always wanted, and perhaps he would even have someone to... help him along.

He smiled as he thought back, figuring it was appropriate to reminisce before dying. Images flooded his mind, voices whispering in his head and he saw the café on Cat Street. He remembered his first visit, how the owner seemed surprised when Joshua acknowledged him as he stood outside. They walked in and the owner had given him a free cup of coffee, just so he could try it. They had a nice chat and after about an hour, Joshua said that he had to leave, that his parents would be livid if he came home even ten minutes late.

The man laughed, and Joshua decided he found it cute. He did, however, note the age gap between them and didn't bother thinking anything more of it, frowning slightly once his back was turned on the café. As he began to walk away, the barista had called out to him.

"What was your name again, kiddo?" Joshua came to a halt, turning slightly.

"Yoshiya Kiryu," he answered, "and you?"

"Right, I'll try to remember that," he said almost too quietly, scratching the back of his head, "and, uh, I'm Sanae Hanekoma. You can just call me Mister H."

"I'll try to remember that," Joshua mimicked, smiling. Hanekoma smiled right back before turning and waving him off. The younger then remembered the reason he left in the first place, frowning again and speedwalking off to his house. He was half an hour late and his father had thrown their coffee maker at him as he walked through the door. Joshua ducked, avoiding the hurled object and he couldn't help but let out the tiniest snicker when he saw what it was. He then realized the situation he was in and his smirk immediately dropped as he slowly turned to face his father.

Joshua slammed the door to his room after suffering verbal as well as physical abuse from his decidedly drunk father. He locked the door in case his old man took that as a challenge and collapsed onto his bed, hoping to fall asleep immediately. He got up after waiting a few minutes, bringing his legs close to him as he felt the beginnings of tears in his eyes. Joshua let himself fall over so he was laying down again, silently crying himself to sleep.

The next day, Joshua had visited the café again. He walked in and sat down, Hanekoma already coming towards him.

"Hey, uh... Joshua something, right?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck. Joshua smiled and nodded.

"Sure, why not?" he murmured.

"What was that? I couldn't-" Hanekoma cut himself off as he thought he saw something.

"Hey," he said, "what's that on your arm?"

Joshua considered hiding it from the barista, but didn't bother, slowly bringing his arm up to rest on the table, showing off a large bruise on the side of it. Hanekoma took on the most serious expression Joshua had seen him with thus far, carefully grabbing his arm and lifting it to get a closer look.

"When did this happen? Last night? Were you attacked on the way home or..." he trailed off as he considered other possibilities and gave the most sympathetic sigh he could muster when Joshua looked up at him with wet eyes, biting his lower lip so it didn't quiver.

"If your parents did this, I just want you to know that... you know, you're always welcome here. You can stay with me if you have to," he offered, already knowing the most likely response.

"I can't," Joshua lamented, "my father would do worse than just a bruise on my arm if he found out where I was hiding."

"Then he won't find out," Hanekoma assured, smiling again, "I won't let him touch you."

Joshua had believed him, but unfortunately, the barista was a busy man. He was safe for a while, and Hanekoma had told him everything about reapers and the Game. He had told Joshua that he was special, and about how rare it was for the living to be able to see and interact with higher beings. He made him _feel_ special. He made him feel, for the first time in his life, genuinely cared for. Joshua dared to think he was in love.

However, his father had found him this night and did everything Joshua was afraid of and then some. He was surprised he was even able to hold a gun at this point. The boy smiled, dropping the weapon from his head and reconsidering his plan for just a moment before aiming it at his heart.

"I'll see you again soon," he whispered, pulling the trigger and putting a temporary end to his life.


	2. Crudelis

Hanekoma grimaced, leaning against the wall of the alley he hid himself in. He had seen Joshua had gotten hurt again and followed him. It took all of his self control not to run up to him and take him home, take care of him and keep him alive for just a little while longer. Even knowing Joshua wanted to die, knowing how eager he was to play the Game, Hanekoma had done everything he could up to that point to protect him.

And he had to make up some more to keep himself from calling to Joshua. To keep the boy from killing himself. He wanted to slide down the wall and cry, but instead, he got up and started walking. The barista closed his eyes when he got close and hoped to god that somehow Joshua had missed his heart. That somehow, the boy was alive.

He opened his eyes and crouched down, noticing Joshua's eyes were still open, and he could swear he saw a tear falling. He checked his vital signs and almost bothered trying CPR, but decided it would be of no use. The man took in a sharp breath and bit his lip, reassuring himself that he would see him again soon and carefully closing Joshua's eyes before standing and walking away.

Sure enough, he did see Joshua again, just as he knew he would. The day after he died, he entered the game, and two days after that, he had a mission to erase some Noise on Cat Street. He saw Joshua walking over, telling his partner to keep searching for the Noise. Hanekoma walked forward with a smile, about to offer the boy, player now, a cup of coffee before he was cut off.

"Well, this is a quaint little shop. My name is Yoshiya Kiryu, a player of the Game, which you must know about if you approached me. What about you?"

Hanekoma could swear he heard his heart stop. He tensed up and paused for a moment before putting on a facade, smiling again and continuing to walk.

"Sanae Hanekoma. You can call me Mister H."


End file.
